lihtox

Got the email from Hollins today: they're suspending/restarting their job search. I don't know why: they might have had funding issues, or they might have been able to decide on a candidate, or they might not have been satisfied with any of us. I'm welcome to re-apply, but big deal: I'm welcome to apply for any of the 50 job openings next year, too.

I don't FEEL overwhelmingly disappointed, but I'm afraid that's because this feels like the culmination of what has been a pretty sucky job search. It started out much better than last year's-- I got about twelve phone interviews this time, compared to none-- but the end result was the same, a big fat zero. I've perhaps internalized the notion that I'm unhirable as a tenure-track physicist, so this news merely confirms my self-pity. Or maybe not.

So now we're down to Toledo. Jen's contact at UToledo will be negotiating her package with her boss (provost, president, I dunno, someone) in a few weeks. In some ways, Toledo feels like Dallas all over again: here I go following Jen's job while I end up scrounging around for part-time, temporary positions which aren't what I want to do. Mind you, Dallas hasn't been a complete disaster: I've found jobs, I've found some niches. Heck, if I had been here long-term I'd probably have had a decent chance at getting a real job at UDallas or SMU or Eastfield. And the Toledo situation has a number of inherent advantages over the Dallas situation:
1) The climate is more familiar, so it will feel more like home.
2) It's a day's drive from my family. We can't quite do the trip in a weekend, but maybe over a long weekend, and it doesn't have to involve airplanes, which I loathe for so many reasons.
3) Toledo is a smaller city than Dallas, with less traffic. Hopefully more pleasant.
4) I am resolved to find a better neighborhood to live in. Where we are now there's hardly anywhere pleasant to walk to (and terrible sidewalks), we're right on a major street so we get subwoofers going by all the time. My goal is to live on a side street in a very walkable neighborhood (sidewalks and/or quiet streets), nice park nearby, nice coffee shop/bagel shop within walking distance.
5) We have a baby now, and a baby is a great way to meet neighbors (assuming they actually hang around outside). I've talked to many more local people in the past six months than in the previous decade, it seems. I haven't pursued those relationships because "we're moving so soon", but I might be able to take advantage of this in Toledo.
6) Speaking of "we're moving so soon", Dallas has always felt temporary to me, and so I haven't bothered to find long-term niches. For example, I am sick of the church I've been going to-- hate the music, dislike the pastor-- but I haven't really bothered finding a new one because I know I can just wait it out. I was invited to join the board of one organization I belong to, but didn't. I recently found a stay-at-home Dad's group in Dallas, but I don't feel a lot of motivation to join (also, they always seem to meet way up north). Toledo, on the other hand, is going to be "permanent": at least 5 years, maybe 30 years, maybe life. No more excuses. Find a church, find groups, get involved, feel involved and connected.

So I've applied for a full-time teaching position at Bowling Green (30 minutes south of Toledo) and, will be applying for a visiting position at Ohio Northern (1.2 hours south--yes, Ohio Northern is not particularly northern). I am also going to write to Mark Newman at U Michigan Ann Arbor, which is an hour north of Toledo. Dr. Newman does research in networks, a field I've always been somewhat interested in, and a field I've taken a couple of baby steps into recently. I'm going to ask if he has a post-doc position, and if not, I'm going to see if I can come to his group's meetings (assuming they meet weekly as many research groups do) and become a "groupie" of sorts.

Non-professionally, I hope that we'll be able to move up there in June, so that we will have most of the summer to get settled in and meet people and whatnot before work begins. I'd like to make music a part of my life again, although I still have a fear of choir rehearsals. I'd love to start composing again, and to be in an environment where I can easily find people to read through what I've written. It'd be nice to live near a college campus again (haven't done that since my first year of graduate school).

Well, I'm rambling at this point, but it helps to get it all out. I'm trying to remain optimistic about Toledo, and ignore the nagging little voice of despair.