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lihtoxFeeling isolated. Jen's off at a conference for a few days. I'm preparing for my class on Monday, which can be a lonely business: I'm preparing to teach a bunch of people I haven't met yet, I'm trying to be innovative and interesting, and I don't have anyone to bounce my ideas off of.
And I haven't had many responses here lately, either. Being down here in Texas makes me want to kick myself for the wasted opportunities I had in Boston and Chicago to see close friends. I should make new friends here, of course, but I can't get over the fact that I will not be here much longer, no more than a year. Too often I find myself thinking, "I shouldn't/don't want to get too involved with this person/group." It's not always conscious, but I need to learn how to appreciate short-term relationships (like learning to live in the present?) I was thinking that perhaps the experience of dating a number of people gives one practice at caring about someone for short amounts of time, and how that can enrich one's life (depending on how the relationships end, I suppose).
Speaking of isolation (in the Delta Quadrant), I've been watching Star Trek: Voyager during the past couple of months, and it's been enjoyable. I remember watching Deep Space Nine religiously once I got to college, but I never connected with Voyager, though I don't remember why: I know it was constantly panned on the Internet, but I don't remember if I was personally disgusted by it, or I didn't have the time to watch, or it just wasn't worth the effort to find a free television. (God that was annoying, although my weekly "DS9 time" with Jen was kind of "romantic", unlike now where the TV is so easily accessible and the DVR allows us to watch anything at any time.)
Anyway, I read the Star Trek newsgroups back then, and there was a lot of pressure for Voyager to live up to its name, to keep the franchise going, to develop its characters appropriately. If so-and-so wasn't shown in a few episodes, he was being wasted; if the Maquis and Starfleet weren't constantly bickering, then that potential was being wasted; and oh no, not the Kazon again!; and so forth. Now that Voyager is part of history, one doesn't have to worry about its potential anymore, and it's easier to appreciate on its own merits (plus, Spike is showing episodes twice a day; when the episodes come once a week, a bad episode lingers so much longer....) The characters are all rather likable to me, and I'm able to suspend most of my disbelief and enjoy most of the stories. You just have to realize that Captain Janeway is a little bit nuts, a little bit too obsessed with the notion of family (Godfather complex maybe?).
And I haven't had many responses here lately, either. Being down here in Texas makes me want to kick myself for the wasted opportunities I had in Boston and Chicago to see close friends. I should make new friends here, of course, but I can't get over the fact that I will not be here much longer, no more than a year. Too often I find myself thinking, "I shouldn't/don't want to get too involved with this person/group." It's not always conscious, but I need to learn how to appreciate short-term relationships (like learning to live in the present?) I was thinking that perhaps the experience of dating a number of people gives one practice at caring about someone for short amounts of time, and how that can enrich one's life (depending on how the relationships end, I suppose).
Speaking of isolation (in the Delta Quadrant), I've been watching Star Trek: Voyager during the past couple of months, and it's been enjoyable. I remember watching Deep Space Nine religiously once I got to college, but I never connected with Voyager, though I don't remember why: I know it was constantly panned on the Internet, but I don't remember if I was personally disgusted by it, or I didn't have the time to watch, or it just wasn't worth the effort to find a free television. (God that was annoying, although my weekly "DS9 time" with Jen was kind of "romantic", unlike now where the TV is so easily accessible and the DVR allows us to watch anything at any time.)
Anyway, I read the Star Trek newsgroups back then, and there was a lot of pressure for Voyager to live up to its name, to keep the franchise going, to develop its characters appropriately. If so-and-so wasn't shown in a few episodes, he was being wasted; if the Maquis and Starfleet weren't constantly bickering, then that potential was being wasted; and oh no, not the Kazon again!; and so forth. Now that Voyager is part of history, one doesn't have to worry about its potential anymore, and it's easier to appreciate on its own merits (plus, Spike is showing episodes twice a day; when the episodes come once a week, a bad episode lingers so much longer....) The characters are all rather likable to me, and I'm able to suspend most of my disbelief and enjoy most of the stories. You just have to realize that Captain Janeway is a little bit nuts, a little bit too obsessed with the notion of family (Godfather complex maybe?).
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no subject
Date: 2007-06-02 05:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-03 05:43 am (UTC)I generally connect with my students pretty well, and I'm sure this class will be fine too. But one does get a sort of "it's lonely at the top" vibe when teaching, when you're trying to put it all together and experiment and make it work seamlessly. And that feeling's exaggerated when you haven't even met the students yet, so you're trying to guess what they're like, how quick they'll be to pick up material, whether they'll be friendly and laugh at your jokes, etc. (I had a class once that rarely laughed at my jokes; terribly draining.)
Then too, before the class begins I am paralyzed by perfectionism, going over the first bit of class over and over in my head trying to figure out just the right way to present it. Once class has started, I have no time for perfectionism and things go much more smoothly.