Being misread

The secretary at my current department has always been very kind to me, and adores Miriam, so I was stunned this morning when, in a fit of pique, she lashed into me for messing up the copier. We patched things up very nicely through an email exchange (while I was proctoring my final), but one thing she mentioned was that she often had a hard time reading my body language. This sounded very familiar. Ever since elementary school, people have thought I was stuck-up or condescending when I was really just shy or self-absorbed. I often try to bend over backwards to avoid that, to the extent that I tend to get really wishy-washy and nervous about giving orders when I'm in charge (like in the classroom). Maybe it's a touch of that Asperger's that I used to think I had? :)

Y'all know me; am I hard to read? (None of you hate me as far as I know, so I guess the real me is getting through, at least enough.)

Another useful lesson: I was tempted to ignore this argument and let it go, because I'm finished here and might never see her again, but it was just so bizarre that I had to write to her, and the resulting reconciliation was touching and rewarding. It makes me think about other times when I have written off people who have been rude or angry with me, and whether it might not actually be worthwhile to offer the olive branch. I've become jaded, thinking that people can't be negotiated with, thinking that once I've angered someone I can never fix it. Maybe not. And if not, then maybe I don't have to be so nervous when socializing with people I don't know well, worrying that one false word may ruin the relationship.